Sorry, I've been busy in the apothecary working out the bugs in a few new concoctions, and unable to respond to Her Majesty's requests in a timely manner. But now there's a bit of a breather whilst the ashes cool and my new apprentice sifts out the lumps of melted glass and bits of charred bone. It's so hard to find good help these days!

I do have a simple little elixir that will clear up all manner of oily discharges, regardless of the orifice of origin. One drop daily and any symptoms should clear up in a week or so. It can easily be mixed into any alcoholic beverage to mask the unpleasant odor, and all traces of discharge should be gone in, say, six to eight weeks. Some side effects are hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, and throat; severe headache; blurred vision; numbness; seizure; diarrhea; constipation; and rectal itching.

As for the Spaniel, a few drops of arsenic dribbled onto his food should take care of that problem.

Thanks for asking!

Al